Faith
I'm not religious but... Well that's it I'm not. I don't believe in god, just that others do. I'm not a raving atheist but I am still feisty enough to make a quip about warm weather, if hell-fire and damnation are predicted for me, by a long haired man in sandals in the high street, but lying in bed sometimes I wonder.... Can she see? Hear? Does she know? I lost my nan four years ago and I'm not religious but... sometimes I talk to her in my head. So much has happened since, I did the most important exams of my life so far, personal stuff, my prom. Stuff I always imagined I'd share with her. She'd see my prom photos. She would congratulate me on my results but obviously not. Recently I have become more nostalgic about her, photos, her engraved bangle and an old letter in her illegible writing, but what I'm trying to say is not that I wish she was here; I'm not type to wish for the impossible but......
The main reasoning of faith is that this is not all there is.(I swear that's a quote: it isn't I just looked it up ) I sit there thinking, asking her, if she can see me, if she's proud and I realise maybe I have faith. It's not in a god or a lifestyle but the human trait in all of us to wonder what there is out there after the inevitable punch line. I'd like to think she could see: look down, look up or look around. I'd like to think this is not all that there is. So maybe I have faith...I will always think of her, on exam results day I read her last letter, M congratulations on your achievements of late ...Yes I have faith.
I will hang on to my belief that maybe, just maybe, this is not all there is. In resolution then I can do those things and know somehow that she knows or she died knowing that I would go on to do this. If that means faith then it's contentment and perhaps, we all have faith. The religious people praying, the scientists striving to discover new life, the girls still thinking of lost nans four years hence. And perhaps that's fine, that's contentment, that's how we carry on. Striding into the horizon of a clearer brighter dawn
“It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.”- Lemony Snicket
M xxx
The main reasoning of faith is that this is not all there is.(I swear that's a quote: it isn't I just looked it up ) I sit there thinking, asking her, if she can see me, if she's proud and I realise maybe I have faith. It's not in a god or a lifestyle but the human trait in all of us to wonder what there is out there after the inevitable punch line. I'd like to think she could see: look down, look up or look around. I'd like to think this is not all that there is. So maybe I have faith...I will always think of her, on exam results day I read her last letter, M congratulations on your achievements of late ...Yes I have faith.
I will hang on to my belief that maybe, just maybe, this is not all there is. In resolution then I can do those things and know somehow that she knows or she died knowing that I would go on to do this. If that means faith then it's contentment and perhaps, we all have faith. The religious people praying, the scientists striving to discover new life, the girls still thinking of lost nans four years hence. And perhaps that's fine, that's contentment, that's how we carry on. Striding into the horizon of a clearer brighter dawn
“It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.”- Lemony Snicket
M xxx
Faith can be a belief in yourself and finding contentment within it is an achievement in it's self! I am sure she knew what was to become of you and was already proud for the steps you were to take in life, she had faith in you and in turn you will always turn to her for reassurance even if you can not hear, feel or see her... I believe It is an escape from the misery of reality and a path that helps you find belief in yourself! She will be so proud of you.
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